Before You Leave Me Today
by LeSlytherinPhoenix
Summary: Losing Rachel isn't like losing a friend. It's like some invisible force has ripped the very ground out below Quinn's feet. Oneshot set to One Direction's 'Moments.' Slightly dark. Faberry.


**Hello! This is oneshot inspired by "Moments" by One Direction. I hope you like it. **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing mentioned in this fanfiction, neither the song nor the characters. **

_Shut the door  
Turn the light off  
I wanna be with you  
I wanna feel your love  
I wanna lay beside you  
I cannot hide this  
Even though I try_

Quinn stands by the gravestone, tears dripping down her face as she views the inscription. _Rachel Barbra Berry_, it says. And below that, the birth and death dates. And below that, "_she sings with the angels now._"

She's not singing with the angels, Quinn thinks bitterly. She _is _an angel.

She gets away, hitting the freeway.

_Heart beats harder  
Time escapes me  
Trembling hands  
Touch skin  
It makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face_

Rachel's last days were not pretty. Her skin was like paper, crackly. Her voice was rough- Quinn doubts that she could have sung, even if she wanted to. Quinn held her hand as she died.

That damn car, Quinn thinks, trying desperately not to lose it. That goddamn car that just had to pick of the person she loved.

Quinn had survived her car crash. Rachel wasn't as lucky. Why was it Rachel that was decaying under the soft Autumn ground now, and not Quinn? Quinn had deserved it. Rachel had been perfect. An angel.

_If we could only have this life  
For one more day  
If we could only turn back time_

If she had one more day, what would she had done? Soft tears come to Quinn's eyes even at the possibility. She would have told her. So that Rachel knew. So that she knew, even in her last moments, that Quinn's feelings for her were deeper than a friends. But somehow, Quinn feels like she knew already.

_You know I'll be  
Your life  
Your voice  
Your reason to be  
My love  
My heart  
Is breathing for this  
_

Quinn would have done_ anything_ for Rachel. She would have crossed to the ends of earth for her. She would have done more than that Finn idiot- he hadn't even visited her in the hospital more than twice.

Quinn had been there everyday.

Quinn needs her. Losing Rachel wasn't like losing a friend- it was like having the ground ripped out under her feet.

_Moment  
In time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today_

She needs one more hour with Rachel- one more minute, even, just to tell her. Just to get this enormous boulder off of her shoulders that is dragging Quinn down to the fiery pits of hell.

If Quinn had known that this was her last day, she would have done it. She would have forced herself to do it. If she had only been there a minute sooner, if her heart hadn't given out-

Quinn shakes her head. She can't afford to think like that. She can't give herself false hope now. There was only one way now.

_Close the door  
Throw the key  
Don't wanna be reminded  
Don't wanna be seen  
_

Quinn checks herself into a battered motel. Her steps seem to echo down the hall. She unlocks the door.

_Click. _

She steps into the room. It is strangely clean. She sets the key down on a table by the door and sits on the bed.

_Don't wanna be without you  
My judgment's clouded  
Like tonight's sky_

She stands, squaring her shoulder. She walks to the window, brushing away the blue curtains. There are no starts tonight- the stars are all mourning Rachel. It is fog only, clouds. Just like Quinn's mind.

She does not cry. Her grief has surpassed tears.

_Hands are silent  
Voice is numb  
Try to scream out my lungs  
It makes this harder  
And the tears stream down my face_

She thinks of the Glee club- they don't need this now. But Quinn can't afford to think of them. She can only think of herself and Rachel. Both young lives, of course. Both eerily similar. Two sides of the same coin, yet one can't live without the other.

A coin can't exist without two sides.

Quinn chokes slightly, then sinks onto the white blanket of the bed. Finally, the tears come. But the tears aren't for Rachel. That sadness is to deep to express.

The tears are for what she's about to do.

_If we could only have this life  
For one more day  
If we could only turn back time_

She won't get Rachel back- she knows that. But this is a message that is to important not to tell. She has to do, consequences be damned.

_You know I'll be  
Your life  
Your voice  
Your reason to be  
My love  
My heart  
Is breathing for this_

Quinn takes her purse, fumbling for the sleeping pills that she had taken with her to the funeral. Quinn has had trouble sleeping ever since Rachel- left. But she was going to see her again today. Quinn was sure of it.

_Moment  
In time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today_

Quinn opens the bottle, shaking pills- too many pills- into her palm. She slowly takes them, gulping down water. Then, she sits on the bed and waits for the world to fade away.

_Flashing lights in my mind  
Going back to the time  
Playing games in the street  
Kicking balls with my feet_

Quinn sees lights- is she dying? I must be, Quinn reasons. Slowly, she sees scenes.

Her first school day. She was still Lucy then. But that was before the weight. She just looks young.

Her nose job. The way Quinn felt her nose gingerly. The way that she finally decided she was pretty.

The Cheerios. Quinn's first friends. How Quinn controlled them- but she enjoyed being the Queen Bee. At least for a while.

And finally, Glee club. Rachel, standing tall and bossy, controlling everyone, but also leading to their victory.

Rachel's wedding. Quinn's stomach drops as she remembers how close Rachel, her Rachel, was to marrying that oaf.

And finally, Rachel's funeral, the rabbi speaking of forgiveness and heaven. But heaven wouldn't help Quinn. Not if heaven meant she could never see Rachel again.

_There's a numb in my toes_  
_Standing close to the edge_

Quinn's vision begins to fade. She can't feel anything- her eyelids are drooping.

_There's a pile of my clothes_  
_At the end of your bedA_

Quinn knows that what she is doing is unforgivable- but she's not really leaving them. Any of them. She's not, and neither is Rachel.

_As I feel myself fall  
Make a joke of it all_

Rachel. Quinn smiles as good as she still can. In a few minutes or hours, she will be seeing Rachel.

_You know I'll be  
Your life  
Your voice  
Your reason to be  
My love  
My heart  
Is breathing for this  
Moment  
In time  
I'll find the words to say  
Before you leave me today_

She sees a bright light. Heading into it, she grins wider. Her sleepiness abandons her.

And there she is, Rachel. Her brown locks flowing in the lights, her eyes alight with happiness, and strangely, sadness.

"Rachel," Quinn hears herself say. "Rachel, take me with you."

"Quinn." Rachel's voice sounds like it did when she was still alive. "Quinn, why would you do this?"

"I- I need you, Rachel." There. The truth is out.

"Quinn…" Rachel's voice trails off.

"I love you." Is the light fading?

Rachel closes her eyes. Quinn stares desperately. "I love you too."

Quinn closes her eyes. The light stays bright as ever.

As when she opens them again, she is at peace.

**Fin. **

**Please review. **


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